Los Spanish se ponen flamenco because they know all they get from el Foreign Office is toilet paper

Blimey con GBC, they don't seem to get anything right. The Governation pours more money into it, and what do we get: Less!

Caramba, Cynthia mia, how well you speak Shakespeare's language, have you been taking English lessons?

I don't need lessons, Cloti dear, or have you forgotten que I am half English.

If that's the case, mira dirle al Cameron de la Isla que it's about time que he defended our Gibraltar, and no more toilet paper, caramba.

If you ask me, I think the first thing we ought to do is to implement the fishing report.

Digo que si, it's going to get old. El Chief Pica should tell the Foreign Office que se espavilen, porque everybody has its fishing laws except us.

I cannot agree more, my dear. Look at the battles now going on between los Spanish and the Moroccan fishermen who have been pelting the Spaniards with stones and even Molotov cocktails, to get them off their waters.

I know, and the Guardia Civil stand by doing nothing over there, pero in our British Forever Waters se ponen flamenco because they know que los English de Inglaterra will do nothing, don't you agree?

I could not agree more, Cloti dear. All we got at the Gibraltar reception of the Conservatives were nice words como siempre.

And this year no vino nadie del Foreign Office to the National Day, not even a message through the post congratulating us, y el Cameron de la Isla se quedo mudo after his video sensation the previous year.

How true, y los Spanish using our waters hasta para lavarse los pies, blimey.

La verdad es que me tomo unos sofocones que no vale el pity, pero lo hago for if the flies, porque every little helps.

Y ahora los Guardia Civil don't want to give the Right Royal Police ni los nombres of the Spaniards who stole our reefy block, y eso que el Right Royal Police dice que relations with them are very good - a quien le estan taking the hair, that's what I ask.

Bueno hija, keep singing Britannia Rules the Waves and it might become true.

Okay, there's always hope.

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